Eskimo Jesus

Chief Mascot

Portrayed by Maguire Rodgers

Created Saturday, August 2, 2014

Officialized Saturday, August 2, 2014



All hail Eskimo Jesus!

Eskimo Jesus is the god of the Nosiphus universe.

He can

change water into Coca-Cola anytime

change water into Sprite every three months

walk on water, but not Coke or Sprite

drink air if he is thirsty

breathe anything he wants, including nothing

stop time to take a nap

His punishment for lack of belief is swallowing "mayonnaise" from his holiness' touch-activated "faucet" for all eternity.

Eskimo Jesus and the Snowman get together every weekend to play card games. Eskimo Jesus cheats by using his godly powers to see the Snowman's cards. EJ has also made the Snowman immortal, much to the Snowman's dismay.

Favorite Song

The Story

The creation of Eskimo Jesus was completely accidental. In the early morning hours of Saturday, August 2, 2014, Sean Crain had set up a vanilla server using Inferno438's 7 Montagel Way map, which was used on the modded server at the time. He, Maguire Rodgers, and Chocolate__Owl, a regular on the 2014 Nosiphus Server Network that had just closed, were all online.

Sean had built a brick structure along the road, and had intended it to be a firehouse. In order to give it some decoration, he asked both Maguire and Chocolate__Owl if they could build a firefighter on the top of the building.

Maguire's attempt at building ended up looking very odd. His firefighter had long, brown hair and a protrusion sticking out in the front. Sean told him that it looked like "frickin' Eskimo Jesus," and the name stuck.

In the screenshot taken of Eskimo Jesus, Chocolate__Owl can be seen on the right working on her firefighter. She never finished it because Sean closed the server not long after this.

Eskimo Jesus Is Born

Saturday, August 2, 2014